5. SaucyMaid – Yeah, she is on my top 5 for the best and the webcam session was really hot. However, did I mention she is one of those crazy, celibate chicks? Which means, the chastity belt doesn’t come off until I marry her and marriage = commitment = dark scary abyss = death. Until then, I’ll have to find a way to break that chastity belt. Maybe if I use a crowbar and a blowtorch I could…well, you guys can submit your suggestions to me.
4. CiaranRan – Flirting with a lesbian is like walking into the lion’s den. A great example is what happened between me and CiaranRan. I met Ciaran when I was training with Rashar at Kerns. She was in the party and I was being me and saying things that came out of my head. Of course, it wasn’t polite to say that stuff around ladies, but I could tone it as much as I could. Later on, I private messaged her trying to get a date with her. However, she was intent in proving that she was a lesbian. However, I’m a stubborn ass, so I kept insisting to go out with her. Sadly enough, we never got to have our first date, but we are friends…
3. MidoriChan – Another example of getting your head ripped off when hitting on a lesbian. One day at glaphans, I was bored and I saw a girl standing in the venel room. I decided, “Hey, let’s see how this girl reacts to my hotness”. So, I ran around her in circles and gave her kissy faces. All of a sudden, she attacks me with her lesbian rage. I was afraid, I thought she would turn into a werewolf and rip me to pieces. However, I came out of that situation unscathed. This is why I think the Lifetime Channel is the devil’s doing.
2. StonedJello – This is a person I wish I had lobotomy after dating her. I met her through Kayira. Kayira was my perm (although I would love to perm her in other areas). One day, I was training with Kay and then StonedJello appeared and we chatted. So, as the true Rouge formula, I needed to hit on her, no questions asked! She was standing there and I decided to stick my LG stick +8 electric up her behind. This brought out the worse pick up line in the face of Rouge history. I said the following: “Can you feel the thunder?” I will always regret saying that and the whole relationship in general. Apparently, Jello was 30+ and I was just 21. Yea, big age difference! Also, she wasn’t appealing to the eye. Think a cross between a Jack Skellington and Jabba the Hut. The relationship between Jello and me was like the movie “The Crush”, just replace Alicia Silverstone with Jello and me with Cary Elwes and switch the ages. I was pretty much afraid of Jello and I didn’t want to piss her off or else…Also, she had ventrilo and when I was alone with her, I felt very violated and uncomfortable. Another knack I had, was that she would speak proper English when you talk to her on ventrilo but when it came to talking to her in game, it was like reading another language. I had no idea what she was talking about. All I know is, she would always say, that certain things would make her hard (she meant that it made her angry. Yes, all hail the Freudian slip). Luckily, I told that I only thought of her as a friend and nothing more. So, she respected that and we just drifted apart and boy was I happy about that.
1. pl0xress – I’m not sure why I decided to have a relationship with pl0xress. Maybe because she really wanted it and everyone else wanted it and I just went with it. The relationship itself was a great disaster like “Joanie Loves Chachi”. I didn’t take the relationship seriously and she did. She even webcamed with me but that was like watching 2 sumo wrestlers touching each other. In the end, I didn’t think of her as anything sexual and I forced myself to keep her around. However, I wasn’t happy in the end and neither was she. But there was one good thing that came from it. I did learn how to make a mediocre breakfast burrito and computers do exist in Australia.
Well that’s all the great memorable hookups and the bad ones and remember kids. It’s tough being a sex symbol.